nonnas nonsense

ticking time-bomb in my tummy, thursday

Posted by nonnasnonsense on March 19, 2009

OK folks, class is in session. if there are any weak willy’s out there you might want to exit now. please be quiet as you leave the room. you wouldn’t want to draw attention to the fact that you are wusses. below you will see a picture of the female reproduction system:



The size of a normal ovary varies throughout a woman’s life, with a normal ovary measuring 3.5 X 2 X 1.5 cm in the premenopausal patient and 1.5 X 0.7 X 0.5 cm two to five years after menopause

on the left hand side you will see a normal ovary. on the right handside you will see an ovary with a cyst attached to it. yes, the cyst is larger than the ovary it is hitching a ride on. now, i personally only have one of those ovaries. as far as i know you can pretend that all of the rest of the stuff IE:tubes uterus, etc are gone. i’ll give you 3 guesses as to which ovary up there is resembling the ovary i have left. oh, and your first 2 guesses don’t count.

did you guess the ovary with the cyst? GOOD for YOU! i knew you were a smart class. yes, i have a lovely 4cm (about 2″) cyst growing on my one and only ovary (which is probably only 3cm big). silly me, when i had everything else cut out at the age of 33 i left that one ovary in there to roll around and continue pumping estrogen so i wouldn’t be thrown into instant menopause. i feel i was very selfless in saving my hubby from going through that horror, knowing i was risking the chance of growing more cysts.

to the few males that might actually still be reading or the uninitiated females out there, you might be thinking “so what? it’s only a little 2″ ball of nothing? i mean what’s it gonna do kill ya?” well, now it could possibly be cancerous, but that isn’t usually the case with me. usually what happens is they continue to grow (this is the largest documented one i’ve had so far) until they decide they’ve had enough fun causing havoc with my sex life (as in pain!), even going so far as to turn gas cramps into a whole new level of hell. then they BURST and your body just absorbs the extra fluid and you go on with your life. so again, so what, right?

WRONG. i don’t believe in taking the lord’s name in vain. i don’t say things like oh God, not again or even Jesus Christ, that sucked. it’s just how i was raised. well the first time i had one of these lovelies burst i was rolling around on the bathroom floor of my ex-in-laws house. screaming and crying and saying “oh God, make this pain go away”. now, at this point, if there is still anybody reading, you might think oh nonna is just a wuss and exaggerating the pain. well, nonna has finished playing a soccer game with a cracked ankle just so we wouldn’t forfeit. took the splint off of her verrry broken finger so her hand would fit in her softball glove and played a game. i’m sure there are other examples but i won’t bore you with them all. besides i started talking in the 3rd person (1st?, 2nd?, never could remember those) and that’s just wrong.

so what am i doing about this new little time-bomb growing in my tummy? well, i guess the 2 different types of ultrasounds (ladies you know what those are)weren’t good enough for my dr. now i get to wait until they can schedule an MRI to take better pictures of it. don’t know why they want these pics. to this date all they’ve ever done was “keep an eye on it” when i had previous cysts. who knows maybe they just was a good pic for some collection. if I had a choice, i would tell them to cut me open and take it out. the pain from surgery recovery is NOTHING compared to the pain of a cyst rupturing.


16 Responses to “ticking time-bomb in my tummy, thursday”

  1. Norene said

    Sissy!!!! OMG I am with you on the pain. I have been there before. Are they heriditary (did I spell that WAYyyy wrong?)because that might be one of the ONLY things mom passed on to me AND you! LOL! I’m really actually scared to hear this news, but being the fearless leader that I am, I’m trying to set an example. Think positively and try to see about getting it chopped out. Maybe they can blast it with a laser beam. Oooo. Ahhhh. Love u with all my heart!!!

    love you too and yes they probably are heireditary (i had to google it too). i’m hoping they can do something. if not i’ll get an ulcer sitting around worrying about when the bomb will go off.

  2. territerri said

    That is awful! I’m so sorry you have to suffer with this. I hope they stop “keeping an eye” on it and figure out what to do about it soon!

    Me TOO. i just hope there is something they can do about it

  3. seashore said

    Sorry! I know that just sucks!

    yeah. and not in the good way either 😉

  4. Awww. Poor Nonna. I do hope you get better.

    well, they might fix this problem, but i don’t i’ll ever be “better” hehe

  5. Karen said

    You know they might be able to go up the natural hole to get that one and not cut you up… Hope they get off their asses before the damn thing goes off on you! And according to the article my doc had me read which discussed monkey porn extensively there was a study that showed postmenopausal women’s sexual activity increased while on a testosterone patch, though it is currently not an approved treatment and they probably need to study it a bit more. Just sayin’…

    ok, we’ll have to skype about that one cuz you completely lost me after monkey porn! lol oh, and i’m pretty sure i don’t have a natural hole anymore. well, i mean, i have a hole (lucky for hubby) but it’s sewed up at the top or bottom. i guess that depends which way you’re looking at it! /em>

  6. super mama said

    I feel for you honey! Those nasty betchs hurt…and I am talking labor was comparable to a cyst rupturing…except you get something out of all the pain in the end…a baby, with cysts as you know nothing good comes of them. feel better soon! 🙂

    i KNEW it! i’ve never had a kid, but i just knew that labor couldn’t be much worse than that pain. although, usually the pain is over within a few hours and labor can last for days!

  7. momma said

    Great graphics. Ovary and you. I will not even think of it being cancerous. They have until Mon to think about it. Love momma

    actually my nurse prac. was supposed to call me back yesterday. i’m just tried calling them and got their voicemail. i hope she calls me back today. love you more 🙂

  8. agg79 said

    I am sorry to hear of your pain. I hope your doc quits taking pictures and finally figures out what to do with it. The “keep an eye on it” or “wait and see” strategy dowright sucks (IMHO). I agree with your “get it the hell outta me” outlook. I had prostate cancer last year and chose surgery over the other options because I wanted to get rid of the problem completely. Keep pushing them docs for an answer. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

    wow! i didn’t gross out all the guys i see 🙂 i’m happy you agree with me. i’m not a surgery junky, but i definitely want them to get this sucker outta me sooner rather than later! thanks for understanding, and i’m happy that you survived your cancer problems!

  9. I’m so sorry! I know that this hurts, I have been there. I’ve had them burst, twist and had the OB/GYN manually pop them like bubble wrap and finally to insert a needle through my abdomen to extract the fluid from it! It filled 3 of those “give us a urine sample” jars. The doc was joking about “wow, Are we sure I didn’t empty the bladder by mistake??”.

    wow! that’s a lot of fluid! i’ve had several rupture and all they did was do an ultrasound and say hmmm lot of fluid in here must have been a cyst rupture. no shit sherlock! lol the needle through the abdomen sounds like a great idea to me. no stomach muscles cut or anything woohoo. course i want that done BEFORE it causes me pain.

  10. Rock Chef said

    My wife has something similar, but I think this is multiple small ones that just sit there causing problems (eg pain, supposed infurtility, which is a laugh considering she had 4 kids!, etc), but don’t burst.

    The bursting sounds horrible!

    Do they have to remove the ovary or can they go in and blast it with a laser? I would have thought that would be the easy way. No nastiness with early menopause too!

    Hope things get sorted soon!

    i don’t know. i’ve heard rumors of hot tubs with ultrasonic frequency busting up kidney stones and such. if they could do that then i don’t see why they couldn’t figure out some way of fixing this baby. my other ovary that they took out was covered in those bloody cysts like your wife gets too. for some reason one of my just gets a wild hair and decides to grow into: Super Cyst (here i am to save ruin the day) lol

  11. de-I said

    I’m with you kiddo – if they can cut it out it would be so much better. My wife had all kinds of these issues for years before having surgery and her life has been immeasurably improved.

    i understand that. having everything removed was the best thing that ever happened to me. i was just an idiot and thought if i left one ovary i wouln’t have to go flying into menopause. wrong! even with hormone pills i still have night sweats and hot flashes. i’m thinking now, especially since it’s been building little bombs, i shoulda just yanked it out too. live and learn. maybe i can talk them into just cutting that sucker into pieces and sucking i out with a shop vac through my belly button or a verrrry small hole in my abdomen. keep your fingers crossed.

  12. Norene said

    Mom said cysts are way worse than labor. And she had FIVE kids naturally. I believe her. They are intense. Cant even walk when one bursts. OMG. Oh! Monkey porn. Yeah baby!

    yeah i need to introduce you to microblogologist. you and her would have some crazy convos on skype. have you got it yet? when you get it let me know your user name. maybe i’ll download it for mom and that way she can talk to us too. so, if the pain is worse than labor and i’ve had several of these things rupture without passing out. yall have to stop saying i have low pain tollerance! i just have high tollerance to pain MEDS. so there!

  13. I have a good friend who’s been there, and I’ve taken her to the hospital over it before, so I know of what you speak. Poor thing. My sister just had hers removed, and you’re right; it’s minor comparatively speaking. Good luck~

    that just reminded me that i had to miss my lil bro’s wedding to go to the hospital for one rupturing. never have understood why you have to go to the hospital for it. all they do is an ultrasound and say, yep, there’s fluid in there. you probably had a cyst rupture. duh! and of course by the time they do the ultrasound the pain is usually gone so you don’t even need meds for the pain! lol

  14. Sheryl said

    So….what ever happened? Did you have surgery? I could have written the exact same experience…my one and only evil wicked little left ovary is being evicted tomorrow morning. Between the pain, the weight gain, the edema in my legs, the bloatedness…I’ve had it. I’m so glad my ob/gyn is taking the bugger out!

    Hope you are feeling better…no comments since March 09….I’ll comment when I’m home in a few days.

    Take care!

    i’m doing good now. i had a kinda rough recovery, but things are going great now. thanks for asking! 🙂

  15. i like to dip on a hot tub every morning and before going to sleep, it is really nice–*

  16. Knife Sets said

    hot tubs with ceramic heaters are the best and they are safer to use too because the heating element is fully enclosed `~-

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