ticking time-bomb in my tummy, thursday
Posted by nonnasnonsense on March 19, 2009
OK folks, class is in session. if there are any weak willy’s out there you might want to exit now. please be quiet as you leave the room. you wouldn’t want to draw attention to the fact that you are wusses. below you will see a picture of the female reproduction system:
The size of a normal ovary varies throughout a woman’s life, with a normal ovary measuring 3.5 X 2 X 1.5 cm in the premenopausal patient and 1.5 X 0.7 X 0.5 cm two to five years after menopause
on the left hand side you will see a normal ovary. on the right handside you will see an ovary with a cyst attached to it. yes, the cyst is larger than the ovary it is hitching a ride on. now, i personally only have one of those ovaries. as far as i know you can pretend that all of the rest of the stuff IE:tubes uterus, etc are gone. i’ll give you 3 guesses as to which ovary up there is resembling the ovary i have left. oh, and your first 2 guesses don’t count.
did you guess the ovary with the cyst? GOOD for YOU! i knew you were a smart class. yes, i have a lovely 4cm (about 2″) cyst growing on my one and only ovary (which is probably only 3cm big). silly me, when i had everything else cut out at the age of 33 i left that one ovary in there to roll around and continue pumping estrogen so i wouldn’t be thrown into instant menopause. i feel i was very selfless in saving my hubby from going through that horror, knowing i was risking the chance of growing more cysts.
to the few males that might actually still be reading or the uninitiated females out there, you might be thinking “so what? it’s only a little 2″ ball of nothing? i mean what’s it gonna do kill ya?” well, now it could possibly be cancerous, but that isn’t usually the case with me. usually what happens is they continue to grow (this is the largest documented one i’ve had so far) until they decide they’ve had enough fun causing havoc with my sex life (as in pain!), even going so far as to turn gas cramps into a whole new level of hell. then they BURST and your body just absorbs the extra fluid and you go on with your life. so again, so what, right?
WRONG. i don’t believe in taking the lord’s name in vain. i don’t say things like oh God, not again or even Jesus Christ, that sucked. it’s just how i was raised. well the first time i had one of these lovelies burst i was rolling around on the bathroom floor of my ex-in-laws house. screaming and crying and saying “oh God, make this pain go away”. now, at this point, if there is still anybody reading, you might think oh nonna is just a wuss and exaggerating the pain. well, nonna has finished playing a soccer game with a cracked ankle just so we wouldn’t forfeit. took the splint off of her verrry broken finger so her hand would fit in her softball glove and played a game. i’m sure there are other examples but i won’t bore you with them all. besides i started talking in the 3rd person (1st?, 2nd?, never could remember those) and that’s just wrong.
so what am i doing about this new little time-bomb growing in my tummy? well, i guess the 2 different types of ultrasounds (ladies you know what those are)weren’t good enough for my dr. now i get to wait until they can schedule an MRI to take better pictures of it. don’t know why they want these pics. to this date all they’ve ever done was “keep an eye on it” when i had previous cysts. who knows maybe they just was a good pic for some collection. if I had a choice, i would tell them to cut me open and take it out. the pain from surgery recovery is NOTHING compared to the pain of a cyst rupturing.