Posted by nonnasnonsense on September 9, 2009
here it goes:
had surgery on monday the 31st. i did in fact stay up all night, rather than sleep a little and get up at 3:30am (btw: NOT recomended). the surgery went great. the recovery room sucked, because they talked me out of doing the epidural if they only did the laparoscopic surgery. i was in more pain and stayed in there longer, than this poor woman who had a double mastectomy! i have decided that between the fibromyalgia (which increases your nerve receptors or some such) and the EDS (which makes my muscles have to work a lot more than they should), i just don’t respond normally to what should have been an “easy surgery”.
so, after several shots of different pain meds, they finally got enough drugs in me to inform me that i would be going home that day. they sent me to another holding room. now, A) i wanted to stay overnight because i know how much pain i would be in and it’s much easier to just push that morphine button than trying to ride home 2 hours away and popping pills all night. B)holding room = gurney. which SUCKS! i wanted a bed so bad! after laying on the gurney for upteen hours before, during, and after the surgery my back and hips were killing me. C) i hate the whole send you home before you know for sure that your wounds are going to heal correctly, etc..
well, i guess they have figured out how to get someone like me to leave. they wouldn’t let me take a wheelchair and go outside to smoke. it was going on about 11 hrs without a smoke and i was dying for one. they said that i could go have a smoke if i am leaving, so all of a sudden i was really ready to leave! lol the ride home was not fun. my last dose of pain meds had started wearing off and we had to go over to the V.A. to get my ‘scripts filled. THANK GOODNESS the v.a. nurse took pity on me and just gave my scripts to the doc so i didn’t have to wait through the whole ER process. i took my nausea med, waited a while and took a pain pill. we got about 1 or 2 miles from the hospital and i threw up (good thing i took my puke tub with me when i checked out). that brought on a kind of mild panic attack cuz i was afraid of what it would do to my stomach and cuz my arms and legs were tingling like when you hyper ventilate. i started breathing in a paper bag, but it didn’t stop so i freaked and tried calling my mom (she was a nurse). she didn’t answer so i called her twin (aunt faye who was also a nurse) and she talked me down from my panic attack.
alright. we get home finally and i can’t go to sleep! i’ve been up since 11am on sunday and it was 11pm on monday before i could get to sleep. i don’t know why. i was exhausted, my eyes hurt like hell from something they put in them (i swear it was sand) during the surgery. i finally get to sleep, wake up every 4 hours or so for meds, and then get up around 8am on tuesday. i was sooo freaking restless tuesday that i hardly never sat still. i don’t know what was wrong with me (again) but it seemed like it i was only comfortable if i was walking instead of sitting. i decided to take a shower and wash my hair thinking that might calm me down some.
…yadda, yadda, yadda…(don’t really remember much of tuesday eve/night except taking pills earlier and earlier)
wednesday morning i’m up early even though i wanted to sleep in. i’m taking my pain pills every 3 hours now (which i found out accidentally was the correct dosage. i had assumed they were every 4-6 hrs like most pain pills and i had been trying to stretch it to 5 hours! lol) and the pain is not going down at all. i decided i needed to write down when and what i was taking, because i was afraid that i was taking so much that i would forget and take too much. the pain was increasing and it should not have been that bad at that point. i tried doubling my pain pills. no effect to the pain. went to the bathroom and noticed that the inside of my shirt had something on it. my incision was oozing something that didn’t look very good. ok, call the v.a. clinic in my town. they don’t want to touch me. they want me to call the surgeon. i call her office. her nurse starts to tell me that i can come in the next day and they can check it. i told her that there was no way i could drive 2 hrs feeling the way i did, nor could i wait another day in this pain. i read off the meds i had taken since last night and didn’t even get through half of them when she told me to go to my local ER.
off to River Park (hospital that kills people, that you only go to if you’re dying so they can stabilize you and send you to a real hospital) we go. they check me in and the nurse looks at my incision. first thing she says is “oh, yeah. that’s not right”. it’s amazing how many conflicting emotions you can have at the same time. relief-cuz i know there’s actually something wrong and i’m not just being a cry baby. anger-cuz they should have let me stay in the hospital long enough to make sure this wouldn’t happen. scared-because there is now something ELSE wrong with me and all i can think of is staph infections and flesh-eating bacteria lol
they gave me an i.v., gave me some morphine which totally didn’t work. it seemed like it made all of my minor pains from the 3 other small incisions go away which amplified the infected one to 10x worse pain. don’t ask me how. i just know it did. so i begged for something else and they gave me a shot of toradol. that stuff is my new best friend. after only about 5 minutes or so i was feeling much better. then they took x-rays. i guess to make sure they didn’t leave something inside of me 🙂 they didn’t see anything abnormal, but they informed me my bowels were quite full. NO SHIT (pun intended) i was backed up 4 days before the surgery and after all the pain meds i was stillll backed up. half the time i didn’t know if it was my surgery or just my stomach hurting.
friday off we (poor hubby/chauffeur & me) go back to nashville to be seen by yet another dr. that i haven’t ever met. my surgeon is on vacation this week. so he looks at my nasty oozing wound and tells me he is more concerned with the not going poop for 9 long-painful-days. he pokes around on my stomach and says that he doesn’t feel any abscesses or such. tells me to violate myself with an enema and sends me on my way.
get home. violate myself. NOTHING HAPPENS!! also, as i’m changing my bandage i happen to push down on this very hard area right above the incision. now, i mentioned this area to the dr. earlier, but he said it was fine. well, low and behold, when you press that area, more stuff comes out!! hmmm, to me that seems like one of those abscesses he was checking to make sure i didn’t have. at this point i just give up. i tell hubby that i don’t give a crap any more i can either rot away from the inside or blow up. i’m not going to another dr. about this crap. i’m not trying to call another dr. that’s it! i’m done.
saturday comes and i was just going to lay in bed all day and wallow in my self-pity. nope. my tummy starts cramping. off to the “loo” i go. yeah! splash down lol. things started getting better after that. i think my incision is pretty much healed up. just a little bit of oozing going on. hard place is getting smaller (still there a little bit, which worries me some, but i’m ignoring that voice). oh! and i think i have thrush from the antibiotics. never had it before. never want it again. just about everything i eat hurts! oh and smoking? FORGET IT! it burns like a, a, something that burns really bad. lol i totally lost a good comparison.
to make long story just a little bit longer…hopefully from now on i will only be blogging about funny, happy things and can leave my pathetic, pitiful, health crap off of here. i can always torture my family with that 🙂
Posted in update | Tagged: finally on the mend, infections suck, more medical crap, recovery from hell | 10 Comments »
Posted by nonnasnonsense on March 31, 2009
let’s see, what to write about first…well, i guess i could always start with an excuse for not having friday fragments. that’s all aunt faye’s fault. her puterwas acting up AGAIN so i went back up to dial-up-hell to see what was wrong with it. after deleting her netzero (am really starting to hate those people) software because i couldn’t get it to connect we i found out that her dvd drive door was stuck. YIKES! i just deleted the software and now i can’t reinstall it! ok, relax, breathe, try system restore. i do. it does its thing. netzero’s software won’t load. great. now what? try the dvd again. yeah! it’s working again. reinstall the software, try to connect to the net. yeah! that works. now try to figure out what her norton antivirus software has up its butt. fix that. now to re-install open office so she can continue working on her book. done! her computer is happy, but now it’s dinner time. so off to mom’s we go (2 doors down the road). ate a couple of buritos and then they decided they wanted to slaughter me play me in dominoes. so we played dominoes, then aunt faye and i head back to her house to watch twilight. i just watched it last weekend with jamie, but since then i have read Midnight Sun (Edward’s viewpoint) so, i didn’t mind watching it again. now that i know what Edward is thinking, it was really cool to see it again and picture his view point.
oh! before we watched the movie i decided to try out my air pump for my air mattress (can’t sleep on a regular bed). i had bought a converter because my air pump only had a cigarette lighter plug and since i’m gonna be using this for a week in nashville i didn’t want to have to blow up the mattress out at the car and then carry it into cuz’s apartment. it didn’t work. great, another thing to return. so, i went out to the van and stuck the mattress inside it (was wet and rainy outside) and start blowing it up. i’m juggling the pump, the tip for the pump, and the mattress itself. just as i get ready to turn the pump off i hear this crazy noise and a kinda thunk/crack sound. i’m trying to cap the mattress before i lose the air while trying to find the off switch on the pump. i then realize that the durn intake has sucked up my drawstring cord from my hood!! great! i take the mattress inside with a pump hanging from my neck, because i can’t get it to let go of my string! i finally pull the string back out and it looks like it’s intact. i take the pump back outside to see if it still works. i plugged it in and turned it on. nothing. shoot (well maybe a harsher expletive cuz i’m a potty mouth). then i remember that my cig. lighter thingy only works if you turn ON the van. dee dee dee. ok. cross my eyes (cuz my fingers were busy) and turn the van on. turn the pump on. nothing. *sigh* ok, so now i will try to buy a new pump that plugs into the wall and take back the converter. crap. why isn’t anything easy these days??
saturday my aunt treats me and mom to the movies cuz she’s so happy that she is able to just sit down at her puter and go online or work on her book with no problems. score! we went to see Duplicity. i liked it, but it was definitely one of those movies where you get confused about who is cheating who, and you just have to sit back and ride it out til the end. after the movie in the restroom there were 2 little old ladies saying “i don’t know. there were just too many twists and turns. i’m not very good at understanding movies like that.” i laughed to myself. i mean the movie is CALLED Duplicity. you just have to assume there’s gonna be some twists and turns here people! lol
so by the time we got back to mom’s it was around 4 or 5. aunt faye had planned on cooking some roasts and my mom was making my chocolate mousse for me. me? i was exhausted! all i could think about was getting home before it got dark so i wouldn’t have to worry about deer or night blindness causing me to go off the mountain. i only got about 4 hours of sleep due to a migraine and a very slow leak in my BRAND NEW air mattress. i, me, nonna, got up at 6 o’clock in the AM. all of that was my excuse for not posting friday fragments. i was in dial-up-hell and have no patience to try to blog on their slow connections. it feels like it takes 10 minutes to pull up a page. i just couldn’t do it.
sunday was my day of rest to recover from my wild weekend. hey! anything more than sitting on the couch or at the computer is wild now-a-days!
monday i was off to the VA shrink cuz my primary care provider, dr. james, thinks i’m crazy. she thinks this, because i told her i don’t care about my cholesterol levels. death by heart attack sounds like a blessing to me at this point in my life. i can’t even fathom going another 20-40 years at the pain level i’m at now. (btw, this is not complaining. just background on why dr. j thinks i’m nuts 🙂 so, i go talk to the shrink. blah, blah, blah, step-dad forced me to eat veges or get beat, other step-dad messed with me in other ways, i’m over it all now, tired and frustrated with being in pain and never finding out why, blah, blah, blah. so, she asks me if i wasn’t in pain any more, would i want to live a long life. well, duh, big red truck, yes. ding, ding, ding. right answer! you’re not crazy just stressed and frustrated. here take yet another pill (what’s one more when you’re taking a handfull anyway, right?) before you go to bed and come back and talk to a therapist in a month. um, ok. hmmm why do i have to talk to somebody if i’m not nuts is what i’m wondering, but at this point i’m making money off my travel pay so what the hell. maybe they can miraculously cure my aversion to veges and that will in turn help my body. i don’t have anything to lose but time, and let’s face it, i obviously have too much of that lately or i wouldn’t be on here talking to y’all! lol
next step, woman’s clinic to see if i can’t just skip the whole wait for a month til your MRI and just take the ovary and cyst out. so, i ask the question i’ve been avoiding. “why am i having this MRI? y’all have never done this before when i had cysts.” well, it turns out it’s not just a regular cyst like all the others i’ve had. this one is a 2 room cyst that has some “wall” in the middle of it. who knows, maybe the little cyst people got tired of living in a 1 room apt and decided to put on an addition. whatever. i just figure it was two eggs that joined or one that started to divide, something like that. so, i say that it would have been nice to know this before so i wouldn’t be stressing about cancer. then she says that, of course, their main concern is ruling that out. what?! then she says that she’s gonna have me go down to the lab to draw some blood for a “tumor marker” test. i say “do you mean a CA 125?” (i do my research doncha know) she says yes. so i go down to the vampires, let them suck my blood, and ask them how long it will take for the results. well, this has to be sent out to lab corp (evil ppl-you would know this if the VA avoided paying a bill for over a year and you had to deal with them on the phone) so it will probably be the end of the week. the whole cancer thing totally made me forget to ask for the MRI to be pushed up. now, i get to wait an anxious 5 days for the lab test and STILL have to wait til april 20th for the MRI and then april 27th for the results. now, i really don’t think this thing is cancerous, and even if it is, i know that little sucker has only been there for 4-6 months. i’m not worried about that part. what just really bugs the crap outta me is the lack of information i was given originally, and the fact that if they have even the slightest suspicion of cancer shouldn’t they be doing the MRI like, STAT??? oh, the joys of dealing with the US Government.
update: CA 125 test is normal (0-35 = normal range; mine = 9.6)
well, that brings y’all up to date, and this is yet another huge, rambling post. so, i think i should be excused (mother) from not writing any more since the last big one 🙂
Posted in life in general, update | Tagged: more medical crap, my wild wild weekend, NOT friday fragments | 8 Comments »